Life is unpredictable—but it doesn’t have to be paralyzing. While I’ve been in limbo for over 16 years, here’s how I remind myself of the good, focus on what I can control, and stay productive—even when life doesn’t go according to plan.
Let’s Be Real: I Like Having a Plan
I’m someone who thrives on goals. I love writing things down, checking boxes, mapping out the next step, and then actually making it happen. I’m wired for structure, and I genuinely enjoy chasing the next milestone.
So when things don’t go as planned—when life throws me a curveball, delays something I was excited for, or puts me in one of those “wait and see” seasons—yeah… I panic. Not for long but for like… a solid day or two.
But in that day or two? Full-blown internal chaos.
Anxiety kicks in. Sadness. Impotence. My brain starts doing that thing where it spirals into every possible outcome, most of which will never happen but I do go there when being in limbo gets overwhelming. I don’t say that lightly. I hate being in limbo.
And the biggest area where this shows up for me?
My immigration status.
16 Years in the Gray Zone
Keywords: immigration journey, green card process, life in limbo
I’ve lived in the U.S. for 16 years. I’ve built a life here. I’ve earned degrees from respected universities. I was married to an American citizen. I’ve worked hard, paid taxes, contributed to my community. I’ve done all the “right” things.
And yet, here I am—still waiting.
My immigration status has been hanging in the air for over a decade and a half. It feels like I’m always almost there. Close. Just one more thing. Just a little longer. But the finish line keeps moving—and lately, with all the political upheaval in the country, the uncertainty feels heavier than ever.
I don’t know how much longer I’ll have to wait.
I don’t even know if it will ultimately be granted.
That’s the part that eats at me. Because it’s not just paperwork. It’s my whole life. It’s my freedom. It’s my ability to plan, to settle, to dream without everything feeling so conditional.
My Freak-Out Day (and What Comes After)
When the weight of all that uncertainty hits, I freak out. A solid day (or two) of full-blown internal meltdown. Consumed by pessimistic thoughts, I can’t stop crying.
Then I take a breath. And I ask myself:
“What can I actually do right now?”
Because I could stay stuck in the spiral. I could obsess over what’s not in my hands. Or—I can turn my focus toward what is.
What I’ve Learned About Control (and Letting Go)
Keywords: anxiety management, emotional resilience, mindset tools
There are things I can’t control:
🛑 Political decisions.
🛑 Immigration processing timelines.
🛑 Other people’s opinions, actions, or choices.
But here’s what I can control:
✅ How I show up every day.
✅ My energy and time.
✅ What I create.
✅ How I care for myself and others.
✅ How I respond when things get hard.
My mom always reminds me of something so simple, but so real:
“Can you do anything about it? If you can—do it. If you can’t—then why are you worrying about it?”
Some days I roll my eyes. But deep down? That advice saves me every time.
The Tension Between Holding On and Letting Go
I still set goals. I still chase dreams. I still write out plans like I have full control over the timeline—even when I don’t.
But I hold those plans more loosely now.
I’ve had to learn that being flexible doesn’t mean I’m giving up. It means I’m staying open. It means I’m learning to live in the tension between what I hope will happen and what’s happening right now.
I’m not gonna pretend I’ve mastered it.
But I am still showing up. Still hoping. Still building.
And still believing that this long wait is shaping me in ways I’ll one day be grateful for.
The Dream? Freedom to Finally Plan
That’s really what I want.
To be able to say yes to new opportunities without hesitation.
To book a trip without thinking about my legal status.
To make long-term plans with confidence.
To finally live life in color, not just in the gray.
I’m getting closer. I can feel it.
But until that day comes, I’m doing what I can with what I’ve got.
And that, for now, is enough.
If You’re in Limbo Too—You’re Not Alone
If you’re navigating your own version of “the waiting place”—whether it’s immigration, career, relationships, health—just know this:
You’re allowed to feel frustrated. You’re allowed to grieve the delays. You’re allowed to be tired of not knowing.
But you’re also allowed to keep living.
To keep creating.
To keep loving your life even while it’s incomplete.
You don’t have to have all the answers to move forward.
And you don’t have to wait for certainty to start feeling free.
